Dawn writes:
The festival season is coming to a close now and I was reintroduced to Keane’s live sets as they celebrated 20 years since their first album ‘Hope and Fears’ came out.
Also during this week we have marked World Suicide Prevention Day, a day for many with high emotions as they remember loved ones who have lost their lives to suicide.
The language and judgements around mental health are changing but glacially so, the term ‘commit’ is slowly changing to ‘lost’ as we recognise that is not a crime when a person feels they have no choice but to end their life.
BUT the wait time for adult and child mental health services are at an all time high. My own experience of waiting for CAMHS to help was over 3 years in which time I witnessed my child’s mental and physical health deteriorate and the accompanying feelings of helplessness were overwhelming. My own mental health crisis was thankfully picked up swiftly but only once I was in a crisis situation which could have been avoided if we were all more aware of the signs.
Unhelpful language and judgements have unfortunately been a part of Christian culture for many years, as the words of the song say:
They said you were a bright child
Never anything but joy behind your eyes
No sign of all the dark clouds
Spreading like volcanic dust
Over your blue skies
Now they’re looking for an answer
Where the rot set in
And set off the landslide
But it only makes it worse now
Like you’re a puzzle to be worked out
Poor mental health can appear for such a myriad of reasons ranging from trauma to chemical imbalances. Yet rather than listening and sitting alongside, we feel the need to ‘fix what appears to be broken’.
I’m a fixer by nature and I have to carefully balance this with a practice of non-judgemental listening, taking care not to assume, not to jump in with my own experiences and to use the Jesus model of solidarity.
My pastoral accompanist has a way of asking how I am and then following it up with “now how are you really?” – opening the door for a more honest conversation without any fear of condemnation. This can be rare to find a soul friend to have those encounters with, I am truly blessed to be surrounded by a such a caring bunch!
My prayer for all is that through supportive, honest relationships we can be transformed and mental health can something we can talk about and not leave people feeling like they are some sort of
broken toy.
Find out what Keane are up to at https://www.keanemusic.com/?lang=en
For further support and advice about suicide, there are lots of services and charities that offer help. Perhaps the best known is The Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org/support-us/campaign/world-suicide-prevention-day/