Gill writes:

I very nearly chose a different song this week – ‘Heaven Give Me Words’ by Propaganda (maybe another time) but instead, the pondering of that one led me to this one.

When it comes to Myers-Briggs, I’m an ‘I’ – an introverted thinker. This doesn’t mean that I’m a shy, wallflower-type – there are probably a few who will testify that I’m not, but I am someone who needs space to process thoughts and responses. Yes – even in mid-flow conversation when it looks like I’m well and truly present, I’m probably not because I’m trying to find the words that sum up my thoughts perfectly.

I’m married to someone who is almost the opposite of me, whose thoughts are the very thing that are coming out of his mouth. He used to ask me what I think about something and would be flummoxed when I replied ‘I don’t know’ whilst I grappled for words to fill the void in the conversation. We’ve been together that long now that he’s given up asking me what I think. Now he drops a question and tells me to come back to him when I’ve thought about it.

Retrieving words to express and articulate my very deep thoughts is one of my ‘demons.’ It gets in the way of me being my true self at times. It can make me anxious before I even need to be. It can make me frustrated afterwards. It used to cause worry and distraction. It really is like having a malevolent little so-and-so whispering in your ear.

Demons are supposed to be evil spirits or tormentors. Some may believe that they are literally the foot soldiers of the Devil, others may prefer to think of them as spirits or agents that cause harm and distress. Whatever we settle for personally, it seems that they are found in the deepest and darkest places. We talk about burying our demons, hiding them away, and hoping that they never appear or are found.

Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

The thing about demons is that we want to protect those we care about from them. We want to protect them from disappointment, mental anguish, lies, manipulation, injustice, hunger, poverty, and discrimination. In effect, from anything that could do them harm

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I wonder though – the ‘hiding’ thing, the ‘denial’ thing, the ‘pretending it isn’t there’ thing – is that not adding fuel to the fire? Sheltering others and protecting them from immediate harm is one thing; continuing to do so without trying to address the harm is another. That’s when we start to collude. That’s when we’re as much a part of the problem as the more obvious ‘demons.’

The etymology of the word ‘demon’ is an interesting one. It comes from the Greek word ‘daimōn’ which means ‘guiding spirit’ or ‘higher self,’ and in Ancient Greece daimōns were thought to be ethereal beings that just floated around in the air. It’s believed that Socrates had his own personal daimōn who inspired and shed light on his understanding.

And that’s the thing. Inspiration, understanding and bringing things into the light begin to frazzle those demons. Evil only really has power if we allow it to. Speaking up, challenging what we think is wrong, and shining a light on systems, actions and people that are doing harm to others are some of the ways to tackle our collective demons.

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light

Most of all – change. Making a change or being the change – that’s what can wrongfoot a demon. Bring it out into the open and show it you mean business. I still get tongue-tied at times in conversations, meetings, interviews and when I’m delivering workshops. However, I grew my confidence – I made a deliberate change – and now say ‘come back to me on that when I’ve had a think’, or ‘I might need a bit more time to process what I think’ or ‘do you know what, I’m not great at replying on the spot sometimes, bear with…’ That demon is not going to get the better of me and stop me being who I am!

You can find out more about Imagine Dragons at http://www.imaginedragonsmusic.com/. And they are playing live at Milton Keynes, MK Stadium this Sunday 18th June!!

Claire writes:

I recently watched the musical ‘Dear Evan Hansen.’ It really brought home to me how we don’t know what people are going through in their lives, or how their mental health can cause such feelings of despair and have so little self-worth.

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ tells the story of a young man with social anxiety disorder who longs to make a connection with those in his classes and to fit in. He fabricates a relationship with a deceased student to become closer to the boy’s family after their son takes his own life. Shy Evan Hansen finds himself at the centre of the tragedy and turmoil. Evan tries to comfort the family by pretending to be friends with the deceased. Evan pretends that he was good friends with their son.

We have all learned from the last couple of years that we need – we crave – human contact and unfortunately this has resulted in more young people (and across the generations) having feelings of loneliness and who are struggling with mental illness and don’t know where to turn or how to get help.

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ is not only about what happens when someone takes their own life but how someone with a social anxiety disorder, and how their need to be accepted, drives them to feel it is necessary to invent a friendship with the deceased.

The opening words to this song send shivers down my spine.

“Have you ever felt like nobody was there?

Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?

Have you ever felt like you could disappear?

Like you could fall, and no one would hear?”

How many times do we walk down the road, or in the playground, or at work and someone asks if you are ok and we answer, “I’m fine thanks”. I could be having the worst day ever, feeling lost and feeling like “nobody was there”. Or when do we stop and take the time to speak to the person who says to us “I’m fine thanks”. How often do we show our friends, acquaintances and work colleagues – those we love – how much we appreciate the little things that they do and how much we love them? Even if it is just a smile from someone you see every day whilst taking your dog for a walk.

How many of the people we meet daily are out there craving for someone to speak to them, to be shown the love and care that they so desperately want but don’t know how to ask for it.

I have often said that church can be a very lonely place. On more than one occasion, I have walked into a church and out again without speaking to anyone. Surrounded by people but feeling so overwhelmingly alone. From my own experience, I know the difference it can make to be welcomed into the church and to feel part of the church family.

A few weeks ago, a young mum with five children took her own life. The outpouring of love for this young woman was amazing. Her Facebook page was filled with positive messages about how she had helped and supported others in many ways throughout her life. How she was an amazing single parent and loved her children. That most of all she was loved by so many. But did she know that whilst she was here in her earthly body? She is now at rest for eternity and my hope for her is that she has found peace, with the loving Jesus that she welcomed and knew in her life.

We all can be loved, feel love, and love. Jesus told us to love one another and to share that love with each other. John 15 v17 ‘I am giving you these commands so that you love one another.’

These beautiful lyrics from the song express that it’s okay and that ‘you will be found.’ Of course in all good musicals, there is a happy ending. Even though Evan did a terrible thing, he gets everyone talking about anxiety and depression, and many other mental illnesses.

“Well, let that lonely feeling wash away

Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay

‘Cause when you don’t feel strong enough to stand

You can reach, reach out your hand

And oh, someone will coming running

And I know, they’ll take you home

Even when the dark comes crashing through

When you need a friend to carry you

And when you’re broken on the ground

You will be found

So let the sun come streaming in

‘Cause you’ll reach up and you’ll rise again

Lift your head and look around

You will be found”

Let yourself be found. Being a Christian gives us hope that even in the darkest of days, Jesus puts loving arms around us and places us amongst others that love us and care for us. For some, it is hard to talk about how they feel for fear of being judged but talking really does help. All we can do is to love and to listen.

Most of all, share your love. Tell those around you that you care – that you love them and that Jesus loves them. Share your faith journey with those you meet. You never know how it might change someone’s life.

“The morning is breaking

And all is new, all is new

It’s filling up the empty

And suddenly I see that

All is new, all is new

You are not alone”

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Fidge writes:

I’m always disappointed by the lack of musical diversity when a Jubilee concert lineup is announced – we never (at least not that I can remember!) seem to have any of our country’s amazing folk singers included, and they do, after all, sing the songs of our land that have been passed down from generation to generation.

But the good news for all you folk fans out there is that Kate Rusby has a new CD out celebrating her 30 years in the music business. She has partnered with some of her favourite musicians from around the world who have inspired her during her career: Ladysmith Black Mambazo, KT Tunstall, and the Royal Northern Sinfonia to name a few.

I’ve been listening to one of the tracks – Walk the Road – which Kate sings with Beth Nielsen Chapman. It brought back memories of pilgrimage walks that myself and members of the Darlington District have been on. The chorus lyrics might have inspired us to keep going as we battled through some serious wind and rain on one of the days.

All the way through wind and rain

I”ll never deceive my heart again

Hand in hand, across the land

We”ll walk the road together

This week the Learning Network gathered at Cliff along with our colleagues from the Evangelism and Growth Team and District Missioners. It’s the first time we have met on site for over two years and of course, we have all been walking the road together through our varied experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Sometimes though, the road is not an easy path for people to walk together – we live in quite a polarised world with not much space for conversation to explore the in-between. We live with war, conflict, disagreements, and arguments and long for a more peaceful and just world.

Think not of failing. Carry on.

And the road goes on forever

Let all the tears and strife be gone

And we”ll walk the road together

The Methodist Church seeks to be a justice-seeking and inclusive church, and this Friday sees the start of our Methodist Campaign #MyJusticeJourney. From Friday May 27th to Friday 3rd June, Methodist people will be sharing their stories and artefacts of personal “justice journeys” on social media – you can join the journey throughout the week by following the hashtag #MyJusticeJourney.

As we reflect on our own life journey, sometimes the road seems straight and the view ahead clear, but at other times our paths twist and turn with uncertainty. We walk the road by ourselves or with others. We say goodbye to some who journey in a different direction and maybe, as we follow God’s call, the road takes us in an unexpected direction.

Whatever path you find yourself on today and whoever is walking with you, the invitation to walk a spiritual path, is simply to keep going and to put one foot in front of the other.

Think not of stopping in the strife

When the road goes on forever

Let joy and happiness be rife

And we”ll walk the road together

Further details about Kate Rusby’s 30 CD can be found here https://katerusby.com/album/30-happy-returns/

Michael writes:

For centuries in the West, artists of all mediums have explored the darker side of socialisation. Be it William Blake and the romanticists, Oscar Wilde and the aesthetics, Stewart Lee and the so-called ‘liberal-elites’, Banksy and his fellow punk-satirists or – in this case – Supertramp and the hippy culture from which they emerged, there are countless artists and movements who have trodden the path towards status-quo rejection. Often, on their way, they set up dichotomies between apparently competing notions: freedom vs conformity, childlike wonder vs adult cynicism, creativity vs progress, magic vs rationalism, individuality vs imperialism.

‘The Logical Song’ follows a similar road. It laments the desolation of the singer’s wide-eyed childhood by establishment education. Their sense of wonder and beauty has been all but stamped out. Where once there was an openness to the magical and miraculous, now there is only clinical – even cynical – intellectualism. The song’s conclusion is that, in its pursuit of progress and the maintenance of the status quo, society has raised up individuals who have lost all sense of self. Their identities have been so diluted in the name of sensibility, responsibility and dependability that they’ve become vegetables who have no idea who they really are. Their education, ironically, has led to them learning nothing.

It is a well-worn trope. And one I have identified with and expressed myself at various times too. But I’m not convinced it is necessarily helpful to take such an un-nuanced axe to the tree of socialisation. I’d like to raise two quick points of reflective pushback on this song and one point of praise:

1) We have been created for collectivism.

Within this song, and works of art like it, there is an inherent individualism at play; an ideology that is suspicious of collectives and considers them a threat to personal liberty. In contrast, the history of Judeo-Christian thought has placed great value on the collective. After all – it is not good for us to be alone. It is in the bonds of relationship that we have our best hope of founding a just and caring society. There is, therefore, a place for responsibility, practicality, dependability. In fact, not just a place, a great need for this. These are amongst the greatest resources of humanity. Our lives and prospects are significantly improved when we can draw upon them. As such, we shouldn’t resent the call from others to develop these in ourselves too. Developing the knowledge, skills necessary to exist well within and – where possible – contribute towards the collective requires no level of education. This might feel uncomfortable. It might even feel like losing something of our childlike simplicity. But is that childlike simplicity a virtue requiring eternal preservation? Surely, there is a need for us to no longer think and reason like children, but to grow and mature. Is socialisation really the enemy? Or is our true enemy the rejection of reality in pursuit of romanticised naivety?

2) The use of personal freedom in the service of others is what fullness of life is all about.

If we believe that Jesus was the ultimate example of human being – the firstborn of creation, the design pattern for all of life – then we are at our most human when we’re prepared to utilise our individualism in service to others. That doesn’t mean we have to set aside or lose ourselves when we take up the call to become learned, responsible, practical, dependable, etc. Rather, we gain the opportunity to express our individualism in a self-sacrificial way. Neither leads us into a vegetative or cynical state. Instead, paradoxically, I think it helps us recover a sense of the beauty and wonder of life; as we lay down our lives, we discover and experience a new vision of what ‘fullness of life’ means. And it is truly precious, magical – even miraculous!

3) The collective is there for the thriving of the individual.

What this song does get right is its critique of the abuse of individuals in the name of preserving the status quo of the collective. As I’ve outlined, I believe that individuals are made for community, but the community is reciprocally there for the benefit of its individuals. Societies are never perfect and should never be static. History, culture and lived experiences are constantly evolving. So therefore, should communities and their practices be.

This process of collective development requires voices of critique. There is a deep need for prophets who challenge and shape and develop society through creativity, lateral thinking. To serve a community this way is an act of great sacrifice, which should not lead to unfair demonization. The use of labels such as ‘liberal’ or ‘radical’ can be an unkind way of silencing those who might be exactly what the community need.

I sympathise and resonate with the words of this song. But increasingly I feel the need to critique art on the basis of how careful its engagement with a subject matter is. In this instance, I want to suggest that there is more to the story than Supertramp suggest. Despite their conclusions, I’d suggest my desire to be a bit more logical about this particular matter actually propels me into a sense of wonder and beauty about the calling to give myself for the collective. And as I do this I believe I will discover who I truly am.

—

*PS: As a child of the 90’s I have a confession to make… despite the fact that Supertramp are a major band in the history of pop-rock I only came to be aware of this remarkable song thanks to Scooter sampling the first 4 lines for a (baffling pro-Siberia) clubbing anthem in 2002. That version of the song is substantially less philosophical but still worthy of a shout-out and a listen! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YxTa1AUqps

Gill writes:

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Time for the musical event filled with flamboyance, politics and kitsch. For some, it’s an automatic cue to turn off BBC1 and grumble about a music contest taking over the whole channel for an evening; for others, it’s a celebration of eclectic fashion, diverse music, amazing production, and most of all, diversity and inclusion.

We embrace it in our home. It’s been a staple for me since Bucks Fizz won in 1981, and my first ever Friday Fix was about ‘Love Shine a Light’ by Katrina and the Waves. Whatever you think about Eurovision, you can’t deny that it has introduced us to some great, timeless songs over the years. Where would we be without Cliff’s ‘Congratulations’, Dana’s ‘All Kinds of Everything’, Lulu’s ‘Boom Bang a Bang’, and Abba’s ‘Waterloo’ for a start…

Today’s song was the winning entry in 2015. My favourite that year was Estonia’s entry ‘Goodbye to Yesterday’ but who am I to know anything about choosing a Eurovision winner – my favourite rarely ever wins! However, ‘Heroes’ came up as the overall family favourite when all our votes were counted.

As is often the case with a Eurovision winner, there’s more depth to the song than you initially think. The light show that accompanies the song gives a visual narration. The little character that Måns interacts with on the screen is actually himself as a child. According to Måns, he was bullied at school until a new child joined the class. This child, the ‘hero’ in the song, helped Måns to recognise his own worth and helped to build his confidence.

He said go dry your eyes
And live your life like there is no tomorrow

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We underestimate what we are capable of, or we place our own obstacles in the way. We look for problems to prevent us from being who we are, instead of solutions that will free us to be who we were made to be. We dance with the demons in our minds.

We are the heroes of our time
Heroes

But we’re dancing with the demons in our minds
Heroes

I wonder who your heroes are? Who are the people who have lifted you up and carried you to the place where you can take it from there? Who are the ones who stood alongside and faced adversity with you head-on? Who is the person who helped you appreciate what you were capable of? Who are the ones, or one, that changed your life?

He said I never left your side
When you were lost I followed right behind
Was your foundation

Has it ever occurred to you that you might be someone’s hero? You may have had a truly privileged moment when you’ve been told ‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’ You may crop up in an old friend’s conversation about how you helped them reach an important decision. Somebody who you haven’t seen since your schooldays may still talk about the time that you stuck up for them in the gym changing rooms. Who knows? They do. Those people that hold you as a hero in their lives. They know.

If you want to know what Måns Zelmerlöw is doing these days, you can visit his website at https://manszelmerlow.se/mans-zelmerlow/

Showing our age today!

We’re on the lookout for more Friday Fixes so ‘why don’t you’ have a go at writing one for us?

All you need to do is think about why you’ve been singing that song in the shower each morning this week – or why that track is endlessly on your playlist. Jot down why you like it. Is there a funny or poignant story associated with it? Does it make you want to spring into action? Did it change your life or the way that you think about things?

Go and switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead by writing a Friday Fix and send it to Gill at thomasg@methodistchurch.org.uk.

Gill writes:

I have a lot to thank Rachel Held Evans (RHE) for. She gave me and thousands of others, the confidence to question, to wander, and to wonder about their faith in God and the church that they belonged to. Her book ‘Searching for Sunday’ follows the story of her searching for her ‘church tribe’ – a community of believers where she could feel both at home and on holy ground.

It’s three years this week since RHE died, and she still nudges people to deconstruct their faith. For many, it can be an upsetting and disruptive process that can take years as they start to ponder what they truly believe about God, Jesus, faith, and spirituality. For many going through deconstructing their faith, it can feel like they’ve been cast adrift or are being carried along with something that just doesn’t feel completely true anymore. Some might even think that they’ve been ‘stupid for a while.’

Knew the signs
Wasn’t right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Some are rejected by their church for questioning and doubting. Some are made to feel like they are doing the rejecting – here are the people who they grew up with, learned together with, shared with and all of a sudden (or perhaps over quite some time), they don’t feel like they quite fit any longer. It begins to feel as though what you knew well and anchored your faith isn’t what you thought it was.

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

For some who come from more fundamental or conservative evangelical circles, it can be incredibly painful to deconstruct faith. They are not only rejected by their church but can find themselves on the receiving end of some aggressive behaviour from those who they thought loved them.

So much hurt
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time
You’ll be out of my mind
And I’ll be over you

But now I’m
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

There’s a whole lot of fear around deconstructing your faith. Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing the familiar. Fear of being different and vulnerable.

Deconstructing your faith is not about destroying it – it’s actually part of deepening it. It’s about letting go of restrictions and cultures of church that are more concerned with doing things in a certain way. It’s about being concerned with doing right, rather than being right. It’s about doubting and questioning because when this happens, you are really grappling with deeper stuff.

Our churches need to be spaces that allow testing and trying out; of doubting and opting out; of asking questions that make all of us feel uncomfortable – and of loving people all the more when they are doing so. People may move from one fold to another one. That’s okay because they are safe; that’s okay because they feel like they belong where they can flourish and love God all the more.

If they are loved and cherished and move to pastures new, we can take heart that we cared for them and they are following where God is leading them.

In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there
For me

You can find out what Gabrielle is doing at https://gabrielle.co.uk/