Lynne writes:

Sometimes it can be truly overwhelming to think about just how much mess and hurt and nastiness there is all around us. If you’re someone who cares about seeking justice and fairness (and I’d suggest that Christians should definitely fall into that category) then working to make the world a better place can feel like (to borrow one of my brother’s favourite expressions) “chasing unicorns” – a never-ending task that, on the bleakest days, seems doomed to failure. The temptation, when faced with apparently insurmountable challenges to peace and justice (such as the climate crisis, endemic racism, an ever-increasing poverty gap, violence against women and countless numbers of displaced people seeking asylum from war or human rights abuses), is to knuckle down and work even harder. Activism is, after all, primarily about action.

This notion of ‘I just need to work harder’ is driven by fear and the primitive bit of our brain that is designed to protect us by pushing us into fight or flight mode, which can be exhausting when experienced over prolonged periods of time. Simply throwing ourselves into the relentless grind of work – even for the sake of a good cause – can seriously damage our resilience and our mental and emotional wellbeing – leading to issues such as burnout.

So, what’s the answer? I’m a huge fan of the work of Jo Musker-Sherwood, who, after experiencing burnout herself, founded Climate Emergence (www.climateemergence.co.uk) to help people manage climate anxiety. I’ve heard Jo speak a few times and she often talks very eloquently about practising an ‘abundance mindset’ – doing things for the joy of doing them and because the actions align with our values – as opposed to a ‘scarcity mindset’ that is driven by fear – we act because we’re scared of what will happen if we don’t.

I attended a recent event where Jo elaborated on this idea, speaking about the importance of our worldview and how it informs our activism. The stories we tell ourselves (for example, “We’re all doomed!” or “The world is just too selfish…”) can be self-fulfilling prophecies and can feed our fears, allowing the primitive ‘fight or flight’ part of our brain to overpower the rational, creative, grounded part of our brain. Our brains are hard-wired and all too ready to notice the danger all around us but, as Jo says, while this might help us to survive, it doesn’t help us to thrive. It takes more energy and more intentionality to notice the good, to practise gratitude and to tell ourselves the more positive narratives.

This (finally!) is where my choice of song for this week’s blog piece comes in. I think I’ve mentioned in a previous Friday Fix that I find it helpful to sing particular choruses to myself from time to time. It’s my way of shifting perspective and reframing how I look at things. Here’s one of my favourites, from ‘A Drop in the Ocean’, written and performed by (in their own words) the world’s favourite comedy-rap-jazz duo, Harry and Chris:

The way things are is not the way they have to be

Nobody’s asking you to save the world single-handedly

Tomorrow will bring worries of its own

But for every step today, there is less that’s left to go.

They say it’s just a drop in the ocean

As if that’s a reason to stop

Well maybe they’ve forgotten the ocean

Is literally made up of drops.

The song takes the perspective of someone living in the future, talking through time to a relative living today. It hopefully predicts that, despite the fact we are bumbling along a bit, we do eventually make it to a sustainable world. Whilst ’A Drop in the Ocean’ is primarily about the climate crisis, the main message could be applied to any number of injustices or challenges that seem overwhelming. I find singing it to myself really does help me to have a more positive worldview (an ‘abundance mindset’) when I start to worry that I am chasing those unicorns! It reminds me of the much-used quote from the late, great Archbishop Desmond Tutu: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

There’s also this wonderful quote from the singer Paloma Faith (who is also wise and inspiring, just in a different way to Archbishop Tutu):

“If there was a crisis and a plea for money tomorrow and everyone in London alone (population nine million) donated 50p then we would raise £4.5million instantly, imagine if it was the whole country? Kindness is the same, if we all donated a few kind gestures a day, and let a few more petty things slide, the world would be better. It can be big or small. No contribution is too little and no gesture too big and by all means allow yourself to enjoy it. Donate your ear, your time, your food and even your money if you want and then after you have, feel good about it! Why not? Kindness comes in many forms and you can spend as much of it as you like without breaking the bank.” (www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/kindness-change-world_uk_5a8be2c7e4b0a1d0e12ca00b?m8u)

I love the idea that every time I (to steal another turn of phrase from Jo Musker-Sherwood) ‘do the next right thing’, I am adding my 50p to the global bank of kindness – or my drop to the ocean that will overwhelm the world with good.

One positive narrative that I can tell myself, to support my abundance mindset, is that the work is not mine to do alone. There are millions of amazing people across the world who are passionately working for justice, who hold compassion as the highest value, who believe in showing hospitality and kindness to the stranger… Not only that but I believe in a God whose love for me – and for all of us – is not determined by how hard I work or how ‘good’ I am – but is rooted in grace.

Taking time to remember and connect with God’s grace is so important. The Bible is full of examples of how God can take our little and turn it into a lot. From David versus Goliath (1 Samuel 17: 40) to the feeding of a multitude with a boy’s meagre lunch (John 6: 9) and from Jesus’ parable of the mustard seed (Matthew 17: 20) to his reminder of the importance of a tiny bit of yeast in the dough (Matthew 13: 33).

Of course, one other great way of supporting our resilience and our mental and emotional wellbeing is through finding time for laughter – and for that I’d encourage you to look no further than the brilliant Harry and Chris!

“Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine” Ephesians 3: 20

Gill writes:

The Ancient Greeks were fascinated with love and believed that there were 8 types:

Friends – for whom we have ‘philia’ – take on a new significance in our teenage years. Friendships become more intense, important and supportive. They become the first people you turn to when things aren’t going right, and the parent or carer might feel relegated to looking on from the sidelines.

It’s within these relationships and groups that we learn more of our identity, of what we value, and of what we believe in. They are a fundamental aspect of our human development and it’s probably when we begin to realise that we want to love and protect others who are not part of our ‘family’ or those we’ve been brought up with.

This song reminds me so much of one of my teenage mates. For about 3 years, we were pretty inseparable. We hung out at school, at youth fellowship, at the pub, in each other’s bedrooms. We went to MAYC London weekends, parties of every kind and she was the first person I went on holiday with ‘sans parents.’ We were more like sisters than friends.

And this was the theme song for our friendship (well – ‘Words’ by FR David figured for a bit but I’ll sweep that under the carpet). It was the backdrop to hair-styling, layering on make-up and the amateur fashion show that took place in many an 80’s teenage bedroom.

Thanks to the recently-released film ‘Belfast’ directed by Kenneth Branagh, ‘Everlasting Love’ has crept back into my consciousness (and playlist) – and that sense of philia returned with it. I am forever thankful that this friendship existed when it did, and the first couple of lines had a particular meaning then and now.

Hearts go astray, leaving hurt when they go
I went away just when you needed me so
Filled with regret I come back beggin’ you
Forgive, forget. Where’s the love we once knew?

My friend used to belt out these words so her Mum ‘could hear them in heaven.’ The regret she carried, you see, is that each day when her Mum was terminally ill, she would pop in to say ‘goodbye’ before she went to school. The only time that she didn’t say goodbye was the day that her Mum died. The act of saying goodbye for my friend became incredibly important – in fact, one time she phoned me up when I’d got in from a night out to say that she couldn’t sleep because she’d forgotten to say ‘goodnight’ to me earlier.

Her regret at not saying goodbye taught me the value of saying ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to people, but especially ‘goodbye.’ My inner word geek is particularly excited by the idea that ‘goodbye’ is a contract version of ‘God be with you’ – so as you’re waving someone off, you’re asking God to be with them too.

Ironically, I never got to say goodbye to my friend. College went and working life came; new friendships and relationships swept in and our worlds moved apart. I found out that she died when she was 37 so I guess I can’t wish her ‘goodbye.’

Instead, I sit with great memories filled with philia that will last forever – and this cracking song about ‘Everlasting Love.’ Goodbye Pam.

Marc writes:

I’ve always appreciated the sounds that “Imagine Dragons” put together, but never remember that I like them for very long. I’m listening back over some of their newer and older stuff, and the lyrics are jumping out at me too…

Something about the way that you walked into my living room
Casually and confident lookin’ at the mess I am
But still you, still you want me
Stress lines and cigarettes, politics and deficits
Late bills and overages, screamin’ and hollerin’
But still you, still you want me

Oh, I always let you down
You’re shattered on the ground
But still I find you there
Next to me
And oh, stupid things I do
I’m far from good, it’s true
But still I find you
Next to me

There’s something about the way that you always see the pretty view
Overlook the blooded mess, always lookin’ effortless
And still you, still you want me
I got no innocence, faith ain’t no privilege
I am a deck of cards, vice or a game of hearts
And still you, still you want me

So thank you for taking a chance on me
I know it isn’t easy
But I hope to be worth it (oh)

Having done a little bit of research, there’s plenty of acclaim for the honesty and integrity, the vulnerability and rawness of the lyrics that Imagine Dragons use throughout their material.

Dan Reynolds, the band’s main vocalist is quoted on their Spotify Bio as saying:

“Instead of hiding behind metaphors, I was able to be more direct in my lyrics… I really focused on search deeper for lyrical value. Right now the world can seem like a very dark and daunting place. We wanted to create something like a lot of the records we grew up on, where it feels like you’re escaping into a world that’s much more vibrant. Our hope is that it (the album, “Evolve”) helps people focus on the beauty of each moment, and really see all the brilliance and colour of life.”

In the faithfulness of the lyricist (Reynolds) to his life and experience, which is likely influenced by his Mormon upbringing, there’s something that becomes accessible to anyone who has a faith, or indeed anyone who has known a love so deep that it gets right down next to you when you fall.

And if you’re anything like me, when you realise you’re onto a winner with the friends, lovers and family around you, and the kind of God that I know, you can’t help but marvel that they’re still “next to me” in spite of the stupid things I do; still want me even though I’m a mess… And at that point there has to be a recommitment in gratitude for them taking a chance on me.

The real beauty is that I will never justify the cost of God taking countless chances on me, but whether I see it or not, he deems me worth it… so I’ll try and try and try and keep getting up.

Find out more about Imagine Dragons at https://www.imaginedragonsmusic.com/

Jane writes:

I first bought an album by Kathryn Williams in the year 2000. That is such a scary thought. It remains a firm favourite, and it also happens to have some excellent cello playing in it. What’s not to love.

Imagine my joy then, when it became clear that she had recently collaborated with Carol Ann Duffy – of the Poet Laureate fame – on a seasonal album.

I love the NEW in new music but I have an on-off relationship with the idea of New Year and the associated celebrations. I have tales of bad parties, endlessly depressing hours in bed wishing life away, fabulous fun with dear friends at Ten Pin bowling, Safari Suppers, family laughter, fireworks, sofa-weeping, and a now-infamous story of seeing in the New Year with a gang of people drinking cups of tea on a settee with no-one making any kind of effort! My view is, if you’re going to bother then bother, and if you’re not then don’t – but whatever you chose don’t do half of it. I wonder what you did a few days ago?

12 cold gold bells rang so we formed a circle with our hands

So when you’re with people – the enforced mad joy of Auld Lang Syne, kissing the cheeks of those you know (and maybe the odd one you don’t), and raising a glass to absent friends seems really important in terms of ritual. Something that’s been disrupted along with many other aspects of life these last 2 years. Step in then Kathryn and Carol:

I could wish you wealth

But I wish you health

Without you here I wouldn’t be myself when

The brand new year arrives

Here you go

Mind how you go

a fresh start for everyone

In the midnight chorus of our united hearts

There is a little bit of something that brings pressure with New Year. The need to be a better version of yourself – when you have only just managed to hang on to the last one. The need to put stuff behind you that you haven’t even started to get to grips with. The need to be optimistic about the days and months to come, when frankly the pattern of the last lot has left little to be desired. BUT. There is something kind of refreshing about it too though. A ‘circle of life’ thing (yes I know but it’s not a track for today). A new perspective. A chance for new commitments and if you want to take it – a hope in it being different.

So maybe have your praying head on each day. Pray for good health for those you love, those you don’t, and those that try to help. Mind, body and soul. Oh and pray for wealth too – I don’t mean vast amounts – just enough to end the perpetual poverty faced by half the known world. Oh, and pray that people may be united in heart and not only interested in themselves. Oh, and if you need praying for then be assured there’s a ton of people out there doing it and you can rest in their energy and the love of God that comes with it.

The midnight chorus carrying on day after day.

Mind how you go!

You can find out more about Kathryn Williams here https://www.kathrynwilliams.co.uk/

Carol Ann Duffy here https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poet/carol-ann-duffy/