Lynne writes:
I’ve pinched the first couple of paragraphs from a Word in Time post I wrote last year – so apologies if it seems familiar…
When I was a teenager, and going through all the regular anxieties that the condition of being a teenager brings (worrying that I wasn’t ‘cool’ enough, dread of going to another day working in a Saturday job I loathed, exam stress, etc), I got into the habit of singing the old 1980s chorus “Be Bold, Be Strong” to myself.
Be bold, be strong
For the Lord your God is with you.
Be bold, be strong,
For the Lord your God is with you.
I am not afraid,
I am not dismayed,
Because I’m walking in faith and victory,
Come on and walk in faith and victory,
For the Lord your God is with you.
It’s a habit I carried with me into adulthood. I still catch myself singing it quietly when I’m about to do something that scares me. It serves to remind me that God’s got my back and that, even if I make a fool of myself or fail, God’s love for me won’t change. My perspective shifts a little when I sing this chorus and I remember that embarrassment is only temporary and God’s love and goodness is forever.
I share this with you to give you a glimpse into how my mind works, which will hopefully help me as I go on to explain why I’ve chosen to write about this song, best known from a Christmas movie and (if I’m being honest) a little bit on the twee side.
I spent Christmas Day last year on my own for the first time ever in my life. I know that 2020 was a difficult year for many people, and please believe me when I say I am not trying to win any sympathy competitions here! But, by the time Christmas Day rolled around, I was definitely exhausted and in low spirits. In the few weeks leading up to Christmas I had attended (virtually) the funeral of a friend; supported my partner through the disappointing results of a job interview; supported my sister as she navigated caring for her fiancé (who had broken his kneecap and found out his mum was very sick) whilst also completing her PhD thesis, struggled with a flair-up in my chronic pain and spent ten days at my family home helping to nurse my mum after emergency open-heart surgery. To top it all off, while at my parents’ house, I’d slipped in some mud and really badly injured my foot. In summary I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
I did everything I could to keep my Christmas spirits up – I decorated my tree, made myself a turkey dinner and watched the different carol services on the television – but I kept finding myself feeling glum. Then, as part of my efforts to save Christmas, I started watching one of my all-time favourite festive movies, White Christmas.
I LOVE this movie. In particular I love Danny Kaye. I think that he and Vera Ellen dancing together and singing ‘The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing’ beats, hands-down, anything that Kelly and Astaire ever did (I accept that some people may disagree). Usually it’s this bit of the movie – with Ellen’s ridiculously pink and foofy ball gown (I want that dress) swinging around the patio – that is the highlight for me. However, on this viewing, it was a scene that didn’t even feature Kaye and Ellen that caught my attention. Instead, it was the moment when Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney sing ‘Counting Your Blessings’ that made my ears prick up. Particularly (and this is when I start to come back, full circle, to how I use ‘Be Bold, Be Strong’, as I mentioned at the start of this post) the chorus:
When I’m worried and I can’t sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
Even as I say this I know how odd it sounds, but I really did feel God meet me in that moment. God met me in my tiredness, my worry about the wellbeing of my various loved ones, my grief for my friend, my loneliness, my pain. I didn’t feel condemned or guilty about the pity parties that I’d been throwing for myself, but I did feel my perspective shift. I wasn’t alone at Christmas because I had no one – I had lots of people who I cared for and who cared about me and I was only away from them because that’s what we had to do to keep each other safe in the pandemic. I started counting my blessings – the fact that the doctors had caught my mum’s symptoms in time to carry out the life-saving surgery, the friend who drove half-way up the M6 from the West Midlands to help me get home from Lancashire when my parents no longer needed my help, the luxury of having time off over Christmas to rest and sit in my pyjamas under a duvet watching Danny Kaye movies, the modern technology that not only allowed me to attend my friend’s funeral but also enabled the annual family Boxing Day Perudo championship to happen…
So now I have two ‘go-to’ choruses to sing to myself and help me shift my perspective. This kitsch little song reminds me of a time when I felt God meet me in my fed-upness and it helps me to practice gratitude – which we all know is a great way to boost positive mental health. As Psalm 118 (and another well-known sung chorus) tells us, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
