Katherine writes:
‘What is love?
Baby, don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt, me no more‘ (Haddaway – What Is Love)
I hadn’t really thought too much about what love is until I started to teach Year 12 lessons on it. It’s always interesting to see what the young people say about it. I’ve had things ranging from ‘it’s an emotional attachment between two people’, ‘love is a feeling’ to ‘overrated and complicated’. It’s a really difficult thing to define! Like the song above, that features in a video from the lesson, it can often be associated with pain and hurt. Loving someone leaves you open to be hurt.
I think love is key to the flourishing of Christian communities and ultimately humanity, but I think it’s also something that we don’t often get right. The fear of getting hurt and struggling to love those who are different often means that we hurt people, instead of trying to love them like Jesus does. I think we often love people how we would like to be loved, but actually, that doesn’t always mean that the person feels loved!
Love languages are a good place to start and are really helpful practically, but what does the bible say about love? And how can I ‘love the flock’ better (when I say the flock, I mean the congregation of a church). This is something that I have really struggled with over my 2 years working for the church!
Love is mentioned 551 times in the bible (New International Version). As a comparison, the word sin is mentioned 415 times. It’s something God wants us to not just understand, but show through our actions. The verse below is used a lot in weddings. I use it to summarise the Year 12 lesson I teach on love and give it a Christian perspective. For me, it’s one of the best definitions of love.
I know that when I’m being short and impatient, I’m not loving people. I know that when I am selfish and cruel, I’m not loving people. I know that when I get angry and lose my temper, I dishonour God and the people around me. When I bring up past wrongdoings in a fight, I am not doing what Jesus did, who perfectly modelled love. When I have feelings of happiness when something goes wrong in the lives of people I dislike and struggle to get on with, I am not being loving. I know all of these things, but I also know that I’m not Jesus and I won’t ever do all of these perfectly. However, this is a framework around which to base how I love people, as are many other parts of the bible.

I also think that one word isn’t enough to describe what love is, and I think the Greek language does a much better job with 8 words that describe different types of love. I think the media focuses way too much on Eros and leaves the other types of love out. Just think about the plot line of many classic Disney films!

Wikipedia describes Agape as “the love of God for man and of man for God”. It’s the highest and purest form of love. It’s why God sent down his only Son. I think heaven will have an abundance of this type of love. I think the world now lacks this kind of love. I love the verse below. It describes the great love of God, but it also gives us direction and instruction. We can bring heaven down to earth by loving one another. I can bring heaven to earth by loving those around me like it describes in Corinthians. I also need to remember that first and foremost, I am unconditionally and fiercely loved by my almighty father. I pray that you know God’s love now and always.
1 John 4:7-21 (ESV) – God is Love – ‘Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.’
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