Gill writes:
I don’t know about you, but it feels to me like there have been too many moments recently when the world feels as though it’s holding its breath. This past week has been one of those — on Wednesday, for example, when I woke early and immediately checked the news. It seemed like Armageddon was less a metaphor and more a possibility. In those moments, I think we are confronted with a real question of faith: how do we live fully, love well, and hold onto joy when everything around us feels so scarily fragile?
Last summer, my husband Rob and I found ourselves caught between grief and celebration in a way we hadn’t quite anticipated. We had travelled to Sheffield to see Paul Heaton (supported by The Lightning Seeds and Shed Seven). It was a proper nice occasion – catching up with friends and full of anticipation. Then the call came.
Our dog, Brontë (who was in boarding kennels), had to be rushed to the vet. Her back and her rear legs had given way, paralysed without warning. The conversation with the vet was one of the hardest we’ve had. We made the decision — the one that no pet owner ever wants to make, and we made it from a distance; unable to be there and hold her. We had to trust Hayley, the wonderful owner of the boarding kennels, to be the hands we couldn’t be; to be with Brontë, speak gently and let her know she was loved.
For a moment, we genuinely didn’t know if we could face going to the gig. It felt almost wrong to be standing in a crowd, waiting for music, when our hearts were filled with grief. But our friends were there. We had the tickets. We were a couple of hundred miles from home. And so we went.
And then Shed Seven took to the stage and played ‘Let’s Go Dancing.’
The song isn’t the gentle, reassuring ballad that it hints at. There’s an urgency to it, and a cry for the moments when the world is falling apart around you, and probably the only response is to grab hold of someone you love and move. Let’s go dancing while the world caves in. It feels like there’s something almost rebellious about that, and standing there that evening, with grief still raw, it meshed so relatably for me in that moment. A reminder that joy is not the absence of pain. Sometimes joy is the most courageous thing we have left to offer.
All evening, we sang until our throats were raw. We danced. We laughed through tears, put our arms around each other, and raised a glass to Brontë Dog. It was messy and joyful and grief-stricken and alive, all at once. And it was, I think, exactly where we were supposed to be.
It strikes me that Jesus understood this. He could have spent his last evening in solitude or in sorrow — and who would have blamed him? Instead, he gathered the people he loved around a table. He broke bread, he poured wine, and he was entirely present in that fragile, fleeting moment. The Christian faith has never pretended that joy and grief are opposites. They sit together at the communion table. They show up together at the graveside. And apparently, they dance together at football grounds in Sheffield on warm spring evenings.
Brontë, like all dogs, had no interest in yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s worries. She lived in the moment with an uncomplicated enthusiasm. Every walk was the best walk. Every greeting was the greatest greeting. Every sofa was made especially for her to lie on. In a way, I can’t help think that she was, perhaps, more faithful to the spirit of the Gospels than most of us manage to be!
Nearly a year on, she lives on in our memories — and in the small but persistent lesson she left behind. When the world feels heavy, when the news is bleak, when we don’t know what tomorrow holds — be present. Be with the people you love. Hold them close. And if you can, if you can hear music and you can see lights, let’s go dancing
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