‘161’ – The Guest List

Gill writes:

Sometimes a song’s lyrics speak to us, but its whole essence provokes wider, deeper thinking. This song from the young Altrincham band, The Guest List, is a case in point.

The song itself is genuinely poignant. The 161 refers to the number of men from the 60 houses on Chapel Street in Altrincham who left to fight in trenches of World War I. 29 did not return and 20 succumbed to their injuries soon after returning home. King George V referred to it as the ‘bravest little street in England’.

It’s not there now. The street, including the Methodist chapel that gave the street its name, are long gone but on the wall of Phanthong Thai Restaurant (formerly the Grapes pub), you’ll find a blue plaque commemorating those 161 men.

The wistful images evoked by the song have led me to ponder the everyday lives of those 161 and their families. How they lived not only side by side but, most probably, in and out of each other’s homes. It makes sense that they joined up and left for the war together. In a similar way, thousands of young men joined World War I alongside their friends and family, often forming the basis of ‘Pals Battalions.’

Belonging is a human need. We’re social beings who suffer when we feel that we don’t belong somewhere. I find Brené Brown’s thoughts about belonging helpful to reflect on because she says that true belonging needs to start with knowing ourselves first. Once we truly know ourselves, we can be confident and have the courage to retain our sense of self whilst belonging to groups.

We humans have a tendency to do things the other way around. In order to meet our need to belong, we tend to seek out people who think the way that we do and share our beliefs and values. This is how we’ve traditionally sought community, but it can start to go wrong if our common ground is a dislike, or even hatred, of “the other”—people who think differently and have different beliefs and values to us. It becomes ‘them and us.’

It’s really difficult to step back once hate has been embedded. This is why Brown believes that we must know ourselves first and foremost so that we can have the courage to take that step away, rather than be swept up with values and beliefs we might not necessarily buy into completely.

‘Them and Us’ is at the forefront of my mind this week. I’m filled with uncertainty and worry about how things might play out in the USA in the coming months and years. And over the next few days, we will be remembering publically those whose lives were violently cut short as a result of conflict – the ultimate ‘them and us.’

I hold onto the hope that it doesn’t have to be this way. I hold onto the hope that we can all be grown-ups and realise that we simply can’t agree with everyone we meet, but we can try to understand each other’s experiences and perspectives. I hold onto the hope that the more we talk together and hold space to understand each other, hate can be driven out and love can enter in.

If ever you have read the book, or seen the film, The Railway Man, you will know the story of Eric Lomax, a British POW subjected to torture by the Japanese army in Singapore. It tells the story of how the hate he had for Nagase, his Japanese interpreter (whose voice he heard whilst being tortured) eventually turned into love and friendship.

The story is fascinating as it takes you through all of the emotions that both Lomax and Nagase underwent in their reconciliation. The courageousness of both to meet, understand and start to know each other resulted in a lasting, genuine friendship that is an inspiration.

As I stand and reflect in the two-minute silences in church on Sunday, and at the village war memorial on Monday, I will remember the souls of Chapel Street, the souls of those who left our village and never returned, and the souls of all those killed as a result of conflict. And I will remember the last words of The Railway Man, “Remembering is not enough if it simply hardens hate. Sometimes the hating has to stop.”

Why not give The Guest List a follow on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/theguestlist.band